Secret Love Song

Hello Fellow readers & Bloggers,

How have you been? I hope everyone in a good health and living their life to the full blast :)
On my last post entry, i said i will update this page more frequent, but it looks like i am not keeping my word diligently.

Please accept my apology, I was and still am busy lady..nowadays i spent my weekend mostly outside of the house and enjoying the nature and my surrounding more. Not a good excuse huh?

Anyway, this time around, i think i just wanna tell you my love story. I would like to write a long details about it, but let me make it simple cause it sounds more complicated that you would expect it to be.

I have been in a relationship with someone's boyfriend, for officially i think 3 months? Our relationship were ON and OFF because of me. We fight, I ran away from him, rejecting him, then he kept coming back , and we were back together again, and now... Im running away again.

Why you may asked? As a girl, I know how it feels if my own bf being flirting or being taken by other girl, and being that said, at first, i am trying to be defensive of my own feeling, and my action. We text, went out for a MV and meal, but just as a friend. Our friendship doing just fine, until last December, the new year's eve 2016.

I dont wanna go detail, as i dont feel like story it out. I told him, dont text me again, i feel bad for his gf. And he kept telling me, "why you shud be worry? I am the one who should be worry..you just relax.."

Im speechless. But i really feel bad. I know his relationship have some issue due to family disapproval on the gf's side, but they were still seeing each other despite of everything. Oh , their relationship is long-distance relationship, so once in awhile they will meeting each other, from Sentral to North, or North to Sentral. Well, doesnt matter.

I feel its not fair sometimes, that i knew abt his gf existence, but his gf doesnt know what he did behind. I sound like a bit*h, didnt i? I knew... i am being a b*tch and i shouldnt do that.. :(

He said he likes me, he said he loves me. We've been friends for 3 years, getting close and texting for 1 yr, and being together ON and OFF for 3 months now.... but he kept making me confuse as his words and actions doesnt match. I dont know. One time i feel i can trust him, but some other time, i feel like he is just playing around.

hrmm.. anyway, i blocked his whatsapp contact so that he cant text me anymore. Because now i am afraid i am not strong enough to ignore his text if he came back again. He is persistence, stubborn. Thats one of the reason I like about him. No matter how i get upset and mad, and ignore him, after few days he will text back as if nothing happen. I figure out the reason was, he wants me to cool down. He used to told me not to make decision when in anger, so thats why sometimes he will just give me some space when i ignore his text, and he kept coming back.

Now it has been 2 weeks. I know this relationship bring no good to me. I have to be strong to reject him. I was the one who will lose things, not him. He wont lose anything from this relationship, but I do.

They have been together for 8 yrs now, I knew it wont be easy to broke up. And i dont want to be the reason for their break up, if any.

I should have just wish him good luck and able to get married soon. So that i can move on.

I made a mistake, and the mistake is him. Dear heart, please be strong !

xoxo,
Far.

Happy New Year 2016 fellow bloggers !

Hello readers :)

Its been awhile since ive been updating this page - i guess age does fading out my writing hobby for few years after Im actively writing in iamnoobs page.

Well, after so long i decided to start writing again. Too many things happen in my journey of life - the good, the joy, the sad, the hello, the goodbye & more and more.

Yesterday is Valentine's day - I would like to wish all of you a very happy Valentine day :) I hope you celebrate it with joy with your loved one!

How i spent my V-day? Oh yeah, being single for 29 years now (oh i am soon going to my 3 series .. how time fliesss) and its a single V-day for me . Im spending my time at home watching Running Man & sleeping - due to severe headache on my right head for unknown reason. Oh, i am having sorethroat and slightly fever , and stress i think due to over thinking on recent personal issues im having. Might be that contribute to my headache. I dont keep any single medicine/panadol (i threw it out when i was doing spring cleaning last Tuesday - so brilliant of me =_=" ) and i cant stay get up for too long & drive to bought medicine or go clinic also, so i force myself to sleep and Alhamdulillah, i woke up at 5.30pm with much better feeling.

I went for prayer & shower, and get ready to went out to pay for my internet bills in Perda & shopping some toiletries in Aeon Alma. Having Tomyam chicken soup & Vanilla shake as my dinner, then took 1 tablet of Panadol which i bought in Watson, I feel much more energized. I managed to shop for 6 long sleeve shirts & 4 bath towels (i am getting addicted buying towels today), and buying some groceries (salad, chicken, egg) for dieting. Feeling satisfied with shopping (alone! - well, I knew some people who wont do shopping alone) , I left mall and reached home at 1030pm.

Well well, that is how i spent my V-day this year. Nothing special - just spending more money shopping. Its just the same old me. Sound sad isnt it? Its ok, its already been a sad week for me.

I'll tell more story whenever i have time. Till then, take care everyone :)

Love,
-Far.

Journey at 2015

Hello everyone,

I think its been awhile since im writing onto my pages; anybody missing my post? :)

Its already new year, 2015! So what is your resolution this year?
Getting married? Getting rich? Getting into higher level position? Travel more?

Well, whatever it is, may your resolution achieve ! Amin, inshaaAllah.

My resolution? Well, I have many, but i do have clear resolution this year - Well, to clear off debt ! Very tough one. I need to manage my financially good this time around, as Im not getting any younger though.

I have started my budget tracker, I hope within 10months I am able to have my own savings for my future.

I have a long wish-list. I hope this year will bring me more luck & love. InshaaALLAH.

Same goes for you fellas out there! 2014 has left me with a lotsa memories - both good and bad. I just wished that I dont have to remember any of the bad memories, and let the good remains in my heart. I dont feel like to live in the past. I need to move on. Well, everyone need to move on.

I think i need to make a big change on myself. I have often confused people with my emotion, action and expression. Did i have some kind of mask expression? Everything seems not in-sync. My emotion goes well with my expression, but my expression doesnt goes well with my action. What is this?

Im not gonna write about myself on my first post, well, maybe in the next post.

Until then, all of you readers please take care and be healthy! Wish you a good year ahead ! :)

Love,
Ffar.