Secret Love Song

Hello Fellow readers & Bloggers,

How have you been? I hope everyone in a good health and living their life to the full blast :)
On my last post entry, i said i will update this page more frequent, but it looks like i am not keeping my word diligently.

Please accept my apology, I was and still am busy lady..nowadays i spent my weekend mostly outside of the house and enjoying the nature and my surrounding more. Not a good excuse huh?

Anyway, this time around, i think i just wanna tell you my love story. I would like to write a long details about it, but let me make it simple cause it sounds more complicated that you would expect it to be.

I have been in a relationship with someone's boyfriend, for officially i think 3 months? Our relationship were ON and OFF because of me. We fight, I ran away from him, rejecting him, then he kept coming back , and we were back together again, and now... Im running away again.

Why you may asked? As a girl, I know how it feels if my own bf being flirting or being taken by other girl, and being that said, at first, i am trying to be defensive of my own feeling, and my action. We text, went out for a MV and meal, but just as a friend. Our friendship doing just fine, until last December, the new year's eve 2016.

I dont wanna go detail, as i dont feel like story it out. I told him, dont text me again, i feel bad for his gf. And he kept telling me, "why you shud be worry? I am the one who should be worry..you just relax.."

Im speechless. But i really feel bad. I know his relationship have some issue due to family disapproval on the gf's side, but they were still seeing each other despite of everything. Oh , their relationship is long-distance relationship, so once in awhile they will meeting each other, from Sentral to North, or North to Sentral. Well, doesnt matter.

I feel its not fair sometimes, that i knew abt his gf existence, but his gf doesnt know what he did behind. I sound like a bit*h, didnt i? I knew... i am being a b*tch and i shouldnt do that.. :(

He said he likes me, he said he loves me. We've been friends for 3 years, getting close and texting for 1 yr, and being together ON and OFF for 3 months now.... but he kept making me confuse as his words and actions doesnt match. I dont know. One time i feel i can trust him, but some other time, i feel like he is just playing around.

hrmm.. anyway, i blocked his whatsapp contact so that he cant text me anymore. Because now i am afraid i am not strong enough to ignore his text if he came back again. He is persistence, stubborn. Thats one of the reason I like about him. No matter how i get upset and mad, and ignore him, after few days he will text back as if nothing happen. I figure out the reason was, he wants me to cool down. He used to told me not to make decision when in anger, so thats why sometimes he will just give me some space when i ignore his text, and he kept coming back.

Now it has been 2 weeks. I know this relationship bring no good to me. I have to be strong to reject him. I was the one who will lose things, not him. He wont lose anything from this relationship, but I do.

They have been together for 8 yrs now, I knew it wont be easy to broke up. And i dont want to be the reason for their break up, if any.

I should have just wish him good luck and able to get married soon. So that i can move on.

I made a mistake, and the mistake is him. Dear heart, please be strong !

xoxo,
Far.